I sat down over the weekend and jotted down a list of ideas and topics that I have wanted to write about for a while now. Deep thought posts on subjects like breastfeeding past a year (your chest will never be the same), why it’s okay to want to stay home with your kids (until they start cutting the back molars and then you will be glad to escape to the office), and fond memories of my grandmother’s purse and the candy contained within (mmm…linty cherry lifesavers). As you can plainly see, no such posts have been written. Not even any stuck in the writing purgatory of waiting to be edited and further tweaked.
Amazing what a week of a 13 month old cutting teeth will do to your resolve to write more often and on better subjects. Plus, the husband is out of town again, so its just me and Owen and after a long afternoon of playing “You want this? No? Okay, maybe this is what you want? Nope again? Hungry? No? What? What? What is it?!!!!”, I tend to be a bit fried mentally by 9:30pm and all I can think is how nice it would be to just melt into the couch. Not the most conducive lead-up to a well written post.
So instead, I share with you tidbits from the workplace. That, and more evidence that my heart truly is made from something bearing a striking resemblance to a lump of coal.
There are some very ecclectic personalities where I work. A few are quirky in a fun, “plaid with polka dots really is a good look for you”, sort of way. Others are more quirky in the “You’re heavily medicated for that, right?” vein.
One of these that falls into the second category works on the same floor as I do. They have a thing for leaving cute little ‘reminder’ notes all over the place, like on the copier, above the communal fax, etc. Normally, the notes fly right under my radar and I don’t give them anything more than a fleeting glance. That is until I went into the bathroom and after shutting the stall door and getting primed for what one does in a bathroom, I looked up and saw a note taped to the backside of the door. A note that instructed me, and any other users of that particular stall to, “…make sure EVERYTHING flushes!”. As soon as I finished up, I peeked behind the door in the other stall and sure enough–another matching sign. It was the third sign, placed on the paper towel dispenser, reminding me that “…washing your hands cuts down on germs!”, that just blew all the circuits in my brain. I realize that not everybody flushes and that even some people don’t wash their hands after they go to the bathroom, but really, cutesy reminder notes are not the answer.
I came back to my office and was discussing my ‘finds’ with another co-worker and we agreed that all the signs were most likely the handiwork of our floor’s resident quirky employee. Inspiration struck me and I shared with my co-worker the cutesy addendum I wanted to print out and tape below the other two “…make sure EVERYTHING flushes!” signs–”One flush is all you’re getting out of me”, I’d put and then the kicker, “P.S: I touched everything in this stall after I was finished and before I washed my hands. Love, Me”.
It took nearly all my self-restraint for the rest of the afternoon, but I am grudgingly proud to say that I didn’t follow through on adding my comments to the signs. I may be a meany, but I didn’t want to be responsible for completely pushing someone else over the edge…yet.
The signs must have bugged someone else far more mature than my witty-jr. high humor-possessing self as all three had completely disappeared the next day.