This could all be over if you’d just let me pick your nose

It truly amazes (and at times, deeply disturbs) me to hear some of the things that come out of my mouth. Though he is not as bad as I hear some husbands can be, my husband manages to acheive certain appalling levels of grossness that then require comment on my part (while in my head I am thinking, “Did I really just say that?”). I didn’t anticipate that it would only go downhill more after the arrival of Owen.

Things I may or may not have said during the past week to either or both of the male occupants in our house (help help, I am so outnumbered–and one is less than a year old)
* Do you think you could make the house stink anymore?

* Can you give me a rough estimate of when it will be safe to breathe again this
afternoon, not having to use the neck of my shirt as an odor shield?

* Good grief–what did you eat? (sadly, this was said to both Owen and his
father)

* Here let me pick at that and see if I can get it (again, disturbingly used for
both Boy and Father)

My husband is out of town for business this week (internet perverts beware: I do
know how to use the shotgun that we own) and things are actually going better than I had imagined. This has been my first extended time with Owen with no husband to hand him off to when Owen is crabby and tired and refuses to sleep. Of course now that I have typed that last sentence, fate will see fit to swoop down and cause me to see first hand how exactly this time playing at single parenting could go so much worse.

We are currently receiving our first ‘real’ snowfall of the winter and if it keeps up at the rate it is currently coming down at, we should have several inches accumulated by morning. If I worked anywhere but where I do, work would so be cancelled in the morning due to inclement weather. Not my place of employment. We never close (and no–it is not 7-eleven you silly goose). I guess we’re kind of like the US Postal Service of non-profit groups–we’re open regardless of the weather. Heck, when parts of our not exactly large building (read: people’s offices within the building) flooded last year after an extremely heavy unexpected rainfall popped up while the building’s roof was being replaced we just rearranged offices and carried on like nothing had happened. Even after it was discovered that several large parts of the building had nasty black mold growing in the walls post-freak rainstorm, we were just warned to avoid those areas while they were being treated, lest we suck spores into our unsuspecting lungs. I guess what I’m saying is that even if we were to suddenly have some sort of other natural disaster, I would still be going to work in the morning. I guess if everyone else gets to stay home because everything is closed, that should cut off a minute or three of my commute.