Spring Correspondence

Dear Uterus (and other girly bits),

Hey, how’s it going? If you could all get together and work like you’re supposed to any time now, that would be super great.

Fondly,
Trena

Dear Plumper but still lovely young coeds whom I attend school with,

As an (ahem) older and plump but still (!!!) lovely fellow student, I just thought I’d give you the heads up and tell you what everyone else is thinking but lacks the courage to actually say out loud. I realize that Spring has finally sprung and with the nice weather comes along nice temperatures as well, but seriously, you shouldn’t feel the need to suddenly bare as much skin as possible to accomodate the change in temperature. I know, I know, bigger girs are beautiful too and should be able to wear whatever they want, but the important word is ’should’. One armed drapey tank tops aren’t cute on anyone over a size 6, even if no one will announce that publicly. I’m not suggesting that we of the softer and more squishy variety have to keep it all covered up burkha-style, but showing a little less blindingly-white jiggly winter skin is a good place to start.

Loving you all like an older and wiser sister who’s just keeping you from having serious fashion regrets in 20 years,
Trena

Dear Husband’s Car,

Seriously, stop with the random Jekyl/Hyde battery cable issues. I know the number to a good salvage yard and I’m not afraid to dial it.

I’m watching you,
Trena