not exactly restoring my faith in humanity

Dear lowlife scum that found my wallet in the parking lot,

Hey, I just wanted to let you know how much you suck. Really, I hope that the $7 in small bills and change and $6.50 in postage stamps was worth it. Oh wait, that’s right–you did also manage to charge a whopping $1.61 to my debit card before I cancelled it yesterday.

By the way, my husband saw you today on the video from the store where you had the nerve to sign my name to the charge slip. I usually try really hard to not let things upset me, but every time I have looked at the photocopy of the receipt where my name is written in your terrible handwriting, well, I get very very angry. I don’t have high hopes that we’ll ever be able to catch you, but know this–when you act like a total low-life slug? The universe has a way of evening it out and making things right.

Way to go on making such a poor decision and really making it a tough couple of days for me. It wasn’t at all like you opened that wallet and saw that pretty much my whole life was contained in the wallet. How hard would it have been to see my work badge (with my picture on it no less) and anonymously return it to the receptionist’s desk?

Just know that I’ve been in that situation where money has been beyond tight and I could have really used a few dollars and then some for even the most basic necessities. However, the major difference between you and I (and I like to think of it as a separation between evolved human being and parsitic waste) is that if I came upon someone’s wallet–personal property that didn’t belong to me? I would totally turn it in without a moment’s hesitation or without trying to take anything that didn’t belong to me. I guess something like this just goes to show the difference between you and I.

Love you like a cold sore,

Trena