Drawing the line

I read quite a few blogs on a regular basis and I am constantly amazed at how much some people are able to just ‘put out there’ about their lives and their families. I’m not talking about people sharing too much (although in a few instances, all I can say is Eww, I just really did NOT need to know quite that much about you thankyouverymuch) but just being comfortable enough to be who they really are and to be able to show that to the rest of the world as well through their blogs.

There are many times when something will happen in my ‘real’ life and I really want to blog about it, but I just can’t do it. I’m not sure if its because I’m worried about what people might think of me or if I value my privacy and being somewhat anonymous or even a combination of the two. The persona that I present here on my blog is somewhat more reserved than I might be to those who know me well, which is quite the opposite from how many people find that being able to hide behind the comforting veil of the Internet gives them more courage and allows them to break free and be someone else, someone more vibrant, than they ever would be able to in their day to day lives.

Some days I really want to be able to stand out–to use my voice on here and elsewhere to really say what I really think and feel about everything, not just a carefully chosen subject here or a casually bland topic there. Most days, however, I find that like in my real life, I aim to blend in and not stick out like a sore thumb–after all, its the mole that sticks up that gets whacked.

I’m trying to work through this hesitation to really be myself because I feel like my writing suffers to a certain degree because of it–sort of like trying to run your best lap time while having your feet bound together on purpose which doesn’t make much sense and tends to put you further away from your goal rather than closer to it.