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    Yet another example of why I need to drink on a daily basis

    September 16, 2008

    This is how today went down:

    I finally decided, almost 2 weeks later, that yeah, I REALLY HATE my haircut. It’s either too short to do some things with style-wise or conversely it’s too long to do other things with style-wise. Basically my usual routine (wash and let dry naturally) is not cutting it, currently resulting in even more frumpiness (now with the added bonus of frizz and greasy-ness from too much touching and re-touching of the hair) on top of my head. I found the blow dryer (in a box, where it’s been languishing for oh….only about 3 years now) and blow-drying made things marginally better.

    But then Internet? I had the idea that sent the whole day careening merrily off to Hell in a cute little handbasket.

    I remembered that I also own a flat iron and that if I could locate it (in another different box) and apply it liberally all over my head, I might even like my hair today. So back downstairs Owen and I went, ready to pick through the boxes. I can’t exactly explain my rationale for the next part of the story, but just trust me Internet, I know I must have had good intentions. At some point, and this is where it gets a little hazy because I am trying SO HARD TO FORGET, I went into the room where the furnace is (there are boxes in there as well) and it occured to me that some of the boxes would need to be moved soon as we would be using the furnace in another month or so and the room gets a bit on the warm side when the furnace runs. So I moved some of the boxes out of the room. For some reason, I had the random thought of wondering if there was anything underneath the oil storage tank (oil for the furnace). I took my flashlight and peeked, and sure enough, I could make out something that looked like a box…or packaging material of some kind. Figuring that paper type material hanging out underneath the oil tank falls directly into the category of Potentially Hazardous Things, I managed to get a yard stick and push out whatever it was hanging out underneath there.

    Internet, all I can say is that my eyes, they burn. They STILL BURN. OH IT WAS AWFUL. For what did I find underneath our oil tank, but PORN and even more gross, OTHER PEOPLE’S (like the previous occupants of our house kind of people) PORN. Not that I was trying to uh, look (hey, whatever goes on at your house behind locked doors and windows is totally peachy keen, but our abode is strictly an other naked people getting it on free zone, if you know what I’m saying and I think you do *AHEM*) but the people were naked. REALLY REALLY NAKED AND APPARENTLY REALLY HAPPY TO SEE ONE ANOTHER IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Black modesty dots? NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. Not that I was uh, severely traumatized or anything. *Bites knuckles*

    I called my husband to tell him of my little find and he laughed. Oh Internet, he LAUGHED at me and told me to just throw what I found away in the trash bin . You know, out where our neighbors could happen to look in and get the wrong idea about what exactly goes on over here at casa YouMeAndABaby. So tomorrow, I get to venture back downstairs and triple bag my little basement treasure to ready it for it’s big (NAKED) trip to the landfill.

    As the topper to my day, I also discovered (tonight, when it was dark no less) that I somehow have brakelights that work but no taillights. My mantra all the way home was “PLEASE DON’T GET PULLED OVER, PLEASE DON’T GET PULLED OVER”. Despite feeling like the Universe had it out for me today, we managed to make it home without running into any police officers. I’m sure tomorrow’s trip to Advance Auto to figure out the problem will result in another highly entertaining blog post.

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    Uh……..um………..need title……um……..uh…

    August 5, 2008

    I don’t know if it’s the heat or what, but I am seriously suffering from a case of massive mental block in pretty much every facet of my life. From simple queries, like “What should we have for dinner?” to something a little more complicated like “Hmmm…I want to make a custom theme for this here blog of mine. What should I make it look like?” reduces me to a drooling vacant-eyed goon that is pretty much capable of getting about as far as “Uh……………um……………..well…………”. Internet, this is totally not helping my productivity over here. We’ve either eaten dinner out or had grilled cheese sandwiches more times than I’ll admit this last week because I just couldn’t think of anything to make (and this is with a full fridge and cupboards as well. SHOULD NOT BE THIS DIFFICULT). We won’t even speak of the sweater for Owen that I have now had to start three (3!) different times because each time, I’ve somehow messed it up. This is on 8 rows of 2×2 ribbing Internet–NOT HARD STUFF.

    Luckily, I’m still able to keep it fairly together for clients, but I’m trying not to panic that when my current site finishes up sometime next week, um, there’s currently nothing new on the horizon. It would probably help tremendously to grab new business if my site was finally finished, but about 3/4 of the way through the current re-design, I got tired of trying to convince myself that really, I’d totally love it once I was finished and want to scrap it and start all over. However, see above paragraph (uh……um……….you get the picture). In fact, I should be coding right now as I type this–but I’m opting for finishing this post and getting to bed early in the hopes that tomorrow will be a more enthusiastic day for the old grey matter upstairs.

    Not that it looks like it will happen anytime in the near future (hello stupid girlyparts that can’t seem to get their crap together–I SEE YOU), but I really fear for being pregnant in the future and suffering from pregnant brain, since things are going so stunningly well with only myself and Owen on a daily basis.

    Send (mental) help. My (deeply comatose) logical/rational/thinking brain lobe thanks you.

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    Current score: The Universe = Eleventy Billion Trena = 0

    May 20, 2008

    Do you ever get the sneaking suspicion that you must have done something pretty karmically bad at some previous undetermined point in time and now its payback time and that will be payback WITH interest?

    No reason for asking. Did I forget to mention that I’m currently suffering from a massive head cold AGAIN and that for those of you playing the home version of the game, its now past the middle of MAY? I thought it was just bad allergies when all my joints started aching last week after I mowed the lawn (Hello Hayfever!), but when I started running a fever, I knew that I had been infected.

    Also, sidenote: Meth Addicts of the world?

    You suck. The end. Thanks for being so ingenious as to figure out that cold medication would make an excellent ingredient for getting high and resulting in my having to sign over my life at the pharmacy window in order to get any relief and/or have a hope of breathing through my nose in the next week. The whole time I’m (literally) mouthbreathing over what to fill in the form (Uh….name? Let’s see…I knew this at one point in time) because my head feels like it’s filled with cotton which makes it a little harder than usual for the neurons to connect and make the old grey matter click right along in a timely fashion and act like I’m a completely normal person, nope no meth addict here, for the suspicious looking pharmacy tech so that I might be able to complete the transaction so I can actually take the medication and have a hope at being able to feel better/think straight for part of the day.

    Love and excessive snot,

    Trena

    PS: My internet connection has been out since Saturday morning and the earliest that they could send a tech out to fix the problem is Wednesday.

    PPS: Pray that the tech actually shows up tomorrow, otherwise you might be hearing about me on the national news. Especially if I run out of my Cold & Sinus meds.