It is not a good sign if you have to keep smelling your small child’s back end, just to make sure for the eighth or ninth time in the evening, that it is in fact your feet that stink and not that the small child has managed to quietly fill his diaper.

Also?

You know that you are truly a parent when, exhausted and in desperate need to just flop into bed for the night, you actually have to think about the pros and cons of changing the sheets on the bed because your small male child has left you a damp reminder of why you should be quicker fastening the diaper in the future and giving entirely new meaning to sleeping on the wet spot.

When you eat Cheetos for the first time in a long time, do not feel the need to eat the entire bag over the course of a day because they taste so good. Mark my words, since you do not have guts of steel, you will regret this and it will be another 6 months before you will be able to think about Cheetos without throwing up a little.

Also?

Do not, even though it sounds like a good idea at 11pm at night because you are lazy and tired and want to go to bed, think that you will manage to wrangle enough time before work in the morning to run the pertinent parts of the breast pump through the sterilizer before you dash off to work. It will not happen and you will ultimately end up not taking the entire cursed magic black bag to work and you will not pump which will make you end up with your boobs feeling like rocks for the majority of the afternoon. Plus? Your boobs being hard as rocks? Will also result in some very prominant nipplage for a large part of the afternoon. Not good for anyone, as today would be the day you chose to wear a snugger than usual top.

That will be all.

Don’t panic that you are going blind when you get in the shower in the morning and everything suddenly gets blurry. Most likely you just have an enormous eye booger that needs to find a new home, like somewhere not in your eye.

Also, before you start cursing Bloglines because one of your feeds hasn’t shown any updates in quite a while, it helps to realize that you never added it as a feed in the first place and that’s why it won’t update.