I had an eye doctor’s appointment on Friday afternoon and now that I’ve had a few days to process, the whole thing was just….odd as appointments to the eye doctors go. I’ve been doing the corrective lenses (be they glasses or contacts) since the 4th grade, so I’ve been to the eye doctor’s a time or three.
Our optical insurance changed at the beginning of the year and my previous eye doctor (that I liked) wasn’t on the new insurance’s ‘approved’ list. Eh, no biggie. So I made an appointment with ‘Large Local Optical Group’ that figured prominently on the approved list and looked toward my appointment with some excitement because it meant getting to pick out new not-yet-mashed-by-someone-else’s-incredibly-thick-forehead frames.
The first part of the appointment went well enough but then the eye doctor started asking questions about if my eyes were dry (which, during the winter, um yeah, hence the only wearing glasses from October until June, again, no biggie) which managed to segue into the eye doctor telling me that he thinks I have rosacea (apparently there’s a dry eye component), something about how my eyelids looked (Huh? They look like they always do…like eyelids) blah, blah, blah, here’s a prescription for an antibiotic, don’t get pregnant while on the antibiotic, let’s see you back here in a month for a follow-up.
Let’s back up for a moment here. Okay, so I’ve never had what would be considered ‘pretty’ skin, I am usually broken out in at least three or four places, and I have always had really super sensitive skin especially on my face, and as much as it would be nice to have model beautiful skin, it doesn’t really bother me that much. I don’t usually wear makeup only because a) a majority of it regardless of brand does irritate my skin, especially during the winter when I am dry dry dry and b) the 10 minutes required for makeup application would cut into my already limited sleeping time. I may break out, but I don’t resemble even a moderate worst-case picture from the Proactiv website.
Going back to the appointment, after the main part of the exam, while I was waiting for my eyes to dilate, I was passed off to another employee to pick out frames (side tangent: why do they always make you pick out frames when you can see the least amount?!) and instead of looking at frames myself, I had to tell the woman what I was looking for in the new frame style and she went off and picked out a bunch of frames for me to try. Out of the 10 she brought me, I didn’t find a pair that was absolutely what I wanted, so they’re having to order some other frames in similar styles from their other locations (they have about 4 sattelite offices in and around the town where I live) and then I’m supposed to go back in about a week when the other frames come in to see if any of the new frames are what I’m looking for. Does this seem weird to anyone else? The whole not getting to walk around and pick out my own frames myself? It just seems really really odd.
So back the the rosacea thing. I did go and fill the prescription, but in big bold letters in the literature that came with the scrip it says that in addition to not being pregnant while taking it, you absolutely cannot be nursing a baby either. Oops. Normally I remember to say something, but I don’t have to go to the doctor (or fill prescriptions) very often, so I completely forgot this go-round.
Originally, I was going to write a post about how I was conflicted because this meant that I would have to actively wean Owen. It isn’t that he nurses all the time anymore, but still often enough that it would probably be tough. That, and this is the part that some might have a hard time understanding, it would be emotionally hard for me too. Although Owen will always be my baby, the only time that he ever acts like my little baby is when he nurses, and as big and tough as my now toddler acts, nursing is a comfort for him. It’s complicated to put into words, but if you’ve ever nursed a baby for an extended period of time, you understand.
I did a little research over the weekend and honestly, I don’t think I have rosacea. Yes, I realize that I’m not a doctor, but after an exceedingly hard and physically painful lesson in my life about how doctors are fallible and make mistakes, I’ve come to understand that I need (as well as deserve) to be an active part of anything medically related that happens to me. That it’s okay to question what a doctor says and that if they are unwilling to accept me as an active and questioning participant in the healing process, that I should find another doctor.
So the antibiotic bottle sits unopened on the counter and I’m going to make an appointment with my regular family doctor to either confirm (like I said, I’m doubtful) or rule out rosacea being an issue. If my family doctor confirms it and the antibiotics are my only option, I guess I’ll have to think more about how that will influence my feelings about weaning (currently leaning to self-led by Owen as I’m pretty sure he’ll wean over this summer) in the long-term.
However, for next year’s eye appointment? I think I’m going to be looking for a new eye doctor practice. Even if it means going back to my original eye doctor and paying out of pocket since he wouldn’t be covered under our insurance. Sometimes peace of mind is worth paying more.