A reach-around of a different sort…

So…um hey all you fine looking people NOT reading my blog. I *ahem* have a question of a personal nature to ask you. Is it a bad sign that I am so hugely pregnant that it is sometimes a question of whether I will be able to actually wipe when I am in the bathroom? The really super-bad part? It isn’t just when I go #2 (yeah yeah I know…trust me–far too much information there)
I have to say that I did wonder early on (snickering that surely THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME) if this could be a possibility…but I have to say that yeah, I’m a little sad that the day has come. Pretty much everything I do these days beyond rolling out of bed makes me winded and/or tired and I have had to turn over most grooming chores involving anything belly-button level and below over to my loving and devoted husband (Trust? Trust is letting your husband cut your toenails even after seeing what the massacre he performs on his own toenails looks like). Still, one should be able to keep one’s dignity intact by at least being able to tend to one’s own personal bathroom. I only have somewhere between 2 and 5 (oh please no) weeks left. At this rate, I can totally see needing to just lay my head down on the sink (while still sitting on the toilet) for a short nap so I can have enough energy and the strength to actually get up from the toilet. Ahhh…all the fun things they never tell you before you get pregnant!!!
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In other exciting news around our house, I think that if our little guy were to come earlier than currently expected, we would actually be prepared…well…kind of…sort of. Okay, we’ve got all the stuff…just some of it isn’t um…where it needs to be. We bought beautiful furniture for the baby (can you say 200 pound solid wood dresser?) and yeah…it (crib and dresser) are still in the boxes. Three weeks later…still in the boxes. I haven’t even gotten around to buying the mattress. I am either the most laid-back first time mom or the laziest (yeah…I’d be putting big odds on the second option there). I’m not so worried because we were planning on co-sleeping with the little guy for the first month anyway. If I just would have arranged for my maternity leave to start just a week or two earlier…I’d be so much further ahead. At least the child has a car seat…that still needs to be put in the car. I’m telling you–it will be a miracle if they let my husband and I take this poor child home with us. Please reassure me that everyone feels this clueless the first time around!!!