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    April 21, 2008

    Why is it so hard to be the bigger person if it’s the right thing to do?

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    A whole feedbag of random goodness

    April 16, 2008

    The water heater (that just had the heating element replaced last fall) gave up the ghost and went to a better place sometime between 11:30pm Monday night and 4:00pm yesterday afternoon when I discovered ankle-deep water in the main room of the basement. Where many boxes labeled “Important Papers” and “Books” are also located.

    The Husband is also currently out of town until next week (attention internet perverts–I do have a gun and am not afraid to shoot you on sight).

    Seriously Internet? I am SO glad we are renting our house.

    As a side-note, after yesterday afternoon, Owen can now say “Oh Fudge” (comes out “Oh Budge”) with remarkable feeling. Am glad that is the only new vocabulary he picked up after I discovered the lake in our basement.
    Now for the portion of our show where I try to break my arm from patting myself on the back so vigorously: In spite of all things water-related going on at my house, I still managed to finish and send the tax forms from 2005 (don’t ask unless you would like to be amazed and awed by my spectacular talent of dragging my feet) AND work through and submit on time the 2007 taxes at 10pm last night after I realized that I had my husband sign the wrong tax form before he left on his work trip. Inspiration struck as I was sifting through the IRS website for an extension form as I realized that I could submit everything online and sign electronically, bypassing the problem of my husband not being able to sign a new form until next week.

    I tell you, sometimes it’s really wearing to be this much of a genius all the time. This coming from someone who had to double check that their fly was really zipped this morning because it felt a little drafty during my trip down the hill from parking lot to workplace.
    Posting might be a bit more sparse than usual around here until the first part of May. We’ve reached that fun part of the semester known fondly as “The Final Panic” also known around my house as “Oh Crap, when’s that final project that was assigned the first week of class due again?”, so I’m a little buried in all things educational for the next two or so weeks.

    Don’t worry though, I’m sure to come back with some mighty entertaining stories as Owen has decided that he needs to change into Jo-Jo the Dog boy everytime we go out to run errands. Any time another shopper gets near us, Owen growls loudly enough to earn a sad pitying look at me that says “Oh you have one of those children”. Plus, I’m sure that given the way things go in my life, I’ll have at least one story of another major appliance dying/pipe bursting/my father-in-law discovering that the backyard is over an ancient Indian burial ground when he tills up my garden next week.

    It’s always something around here.

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    Spring Correspondence

    April 10, 2008

    Dear Uterus (and other girly bits),

    Hey, how’s it going? If you could all get together and work like you’re supposed to any time now, that would be super great.


    Dear Plumper but still lovely young coeds whom I attend school with,

    As an (ahem) older and plump but still (!!!) lovely fellow student, I just thought I’d give you the heads up and tell you what everyone else is thinking but lacks the courage to actually say out loud. I realize that Spring has finally sprung and with the nice weather comes along nice temperatures as well, but seriously, you shouldn’t feel the need to suddenly bare as much skin as possible to accomodate the change in temperature. I know, I know, bigger girs are beautiful too and should be able to wear whatever they want, but the important word is ’should’. One armed drapey tank tops aren’t cute on anyone over a size 6, even if no one will announce that publicly. I’m not suggesting that we of the softer and more squishy variety have to keep it all covered up burkha-style, but showing a little less blindingly-white jiggly winter skin is a good place to start.

    Loving you all like an older and wiser sister who’s just keeping you from having serious fashion regrets in 20 years,

    Dear Husband’s Car,

    Seriously, stop with the random Jekyl/Hyde battery cable issues. I know the number to a good salvage yard and I’m not afraid to dial it.

    I’m watching you,